Youth :: Finding Our Way

A couple decades ago Madonna encouraged everyone to express themselve. Nowadays, an endowed Katy Perry sets off pyrotechnic displays from her bosom to tell us that we're "Fireworks", and Pink begs us to never feel less than "F*ckin' Perfect". Most recently, we were rewarded with Lady Gaga's reminder that we are "Born This Way". It's great that pop stars release songs
that can serve as anthems to empower us; but when you are growing up as an LGBT individual, it takes more than a song to get you through life. When you are born this way, what will help make it easy for you to express yourself? What resources and sup- port are available?

I never really had an official coming out. I'm pretty sure my mother knew I was gay when I told her I would buy her a huge mansion and paint it hot pink - I was six years old. Growing up in a Catholic household, in a conservative part of town (blond hair, velour track suits, and over-sized SUVs were standard issue for mothers in my neighborhood) I learned what being gay was. It meant being shunned by society and banished into the fiery pits of hell. Throughout elementary and middle school I had an inkling that I wanted my friendships with my guy friends to be a bit more exciting, but couldn't put my finger on what it was (surely I couldn't have been gay; after all I had crushes on a few of the girls in my show choir). I began to come to grips with my sexuality in high school, when I was introduced to my English teacher Mr. Conley. He had the looks of Clark Kent, with a frat boy demeanor, and I was all about that. Unfortunately, I didn't know where to turn. I wasn't aware of a Gay Straight Alliance Club at my school, so most of my resources came from the Internet. Support came from chat rooms and message boards, that's where I met a lot of my gay friends. It wasn't until much later, when I got out of my neighborhood, found the gayborhood and volunteered with the No on Prop 8 Campaign, that I started to see how much support there was for LGBT individuals (I wish I had learned this sooner). I realize now that my parents, who had already raised me to pursue whatever dreams I had and encouraged me to express myself creatively, already accepted me for who I am.

In contrast, Martin is a friend of mine who grew up in a much more sheltered and conservative setting. When we first started hanging out he mentioned that he didn't even masturbate, as he was afraid he'd go blind. That totally shocked me, I almost sent him through the windshield as I slammed on the breaks of my car (which would have put him out of his twenty-year-old misery for sure). How could one deprive themselves of something so pleasurable and still so innocent? I realized it was time to get the boy educated - we started volunteering for a program called In The Mix. It's an HIV educa- tion and prevention program for young gay and bisexual men. We were amazed at how the volunteers from the program interacted; both of us felt like we were from outer space. Why did it take Martin and I so long to find peers who are so diverse, open- minded, and welcoming? Did they all have better access to information and support about LGBT issues? It seems that even with just a few years in age difference, they did. It's getting relatively easy for today's youth to be who they are. With the current political climate in the LGBT arena and distressing news of the recent LGBT youth suicides and bullying, many schools and communities have ramped up support. There are many organizations and school clubs to which they can turn. Sadly though, these resources are not available to all youth in all areas. There is still a lot of ignorance and overwhelm- ing messages of hate. I feel we can all play a part in helping today's youth by raising our voices and opening up a dialogue about understanding. Teach courage by example, by standing up for yourself - that lends strength to others.

This is perfectly illustrated in part by some of the media nowadays. Film, television, and music are being used more often to extend our collective voice, even to middle America. Chris Colfer and Darren Criss portray openly gay Kurt and Blaine on Glee and help bring awareness to bullying. While Gaga's "Born This Way" sounds eerily similar to Madge's track of fortitude, it's a great indication that while we have yet to reach full equality and understanding, we are definitely on the right track.