News :: GLBT
Reverend, Family Speak About Church’s Refusal to Host Gay Man’s Memorialby Kilian MelloyMonday Aug 13, 2007 High Point Church pastor Gary Simons, who last week withdrew an offer for his church to host a memorial for a gay veteran because of alleged "gay" images he said the family wanted included in a photo montage of the deceased, stood before his congregation Sunday and drew applause for backing out of the service.
According to the Dallas Morning News, which posted the story today, Simons quipped, "With all the negative e-mail we are receiving right now, it seems that the homosexual community, God bless them all, are very organized."
Simons also made reference to himself and his church gaining a newfound notoriety in the blogosphere, saying, "Before, when you type in ’Gary Simons’ and ’High Point Church’ in a Google search, you know, you could find us.
"But now," continued Simons, who began High Point Church with a following of 16 people in his living room and now presides over a large congregation in Arlington, Texas, "you really could find us."
Last Wednesday, Simons informed the family of Desert Storm veteran Cecil Sinclair, the gay brother of church employee and congregant Lee Sinclair, that the memorial--which had been scheduled for Thursday--would not take place at High Point Church after all.
The reason for Simon’s withdrawal of the offer to host the service was that Sinclair’s homosexuality would be evident at the service, partly through images of Sinclair and his friends included in a video.
The family made hasty arrangements with a funeral home for the service, to which High Point Church contributed food. Some High Point congregants also attended Sinclair’s service at the funeral home.
For Sinclair’s family, however, the experience left a sour taste. According to the Dallas Morning News story, they say that it was after an obituary for Sinclair mentioned that the deceased had a male life partner that they were informed of the church’s reversal on the matter of the memorial service.
They also say that the church ought to have known from the time the church’s audio-visual minister met Sinclair’s partner, Paul Wagner, at the hospital where Sinclair died that he was gay; moreover, the family wished for the Turtle Creek Chorale, a gay men’s chorus to which Sinclair belonged, to sing at the service, and that should have tipped church authorities off.
Sinclair’s family professed their love for him "just as he was," and that, the Dallas Morning News article says, was the crux of the problem.
Simons told the cheering High Point congregation, "This decision was not based on hate, or discrimination, but upon principle and policy."
Added Simons, who is the brother-in-law of national religious figure Joel Osteen, "We cannot glorify homosexuality as a lifestyle."
"The Bible does say it’s wrong," High Point Congregant Brian Ware was quoted in the story as saying.
Added Ware, "You wouldn’t go to someone’s house who doesn’t smoke and smoke there."
Sinclair’s family see the church’s reasons as different from the ones stated publicly.
Said Wagner, who also served in the Gulf War and was a 16-year veteran of the Army, "I have fought for their right to hate me."
Continued Wagner, "My only problem is how they used all those excuses before canceling the offer. If they had been upfront, we’d have been ticked, but we would have moved on."
The family also say that the church’s stated reasons are not factually true; the church cited "very strong homosexual images of kissing and hugging" that they said were among photos the family wished to have included on a video slideshow, but the family denies that any such pictures were among those submitted for the video.
Simons said that the family had wanted "an open-microphone format" at the memorial, and that they had chosen a non-High Point Church person to direct the service.
"It appeared to the church staff that the family was requesting an openly homosexual service at High Point Church, which is not our policy to allow," Simons said.
Sinclair had been ill for six years due to a heart condition; the church had prayed for him because his brother Lee works for high Point Church as a janitor and is a member of the non-denominational church’s congregation.
Sinclair himself, who died last Monday of an infection following surgery, did not belong to the congregation.
Turtle Creek Chorale conductor Tim Seelig, who led the memorial service at the funeral home, said that the church did not talk to him about the service he planned.
Seelig, a former Baptist music minister, said, "They never asked what we were going to sing."
"And ’Amazing Grace,’" continued Seelig, "that’s hardy a gay pride rally song. I’m real clear as to what is appropriate at a church memorial service and what is not."
Dr. Seelig spoke of the situation at the end of the memorial on Thursday, saying, "We were supposed to be a couple of blocks away."
But, Seelig told the memorial’s attendees, "We are here because the church deemed Cecil unworthy."
Kilian Melloy reviews media, conducts interviews, and writes commentary for EDGEBoston, where he also serves as Assistant Arts Editor.
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