EDGE Boston

Though you may know your way around the bedroom, there is little guarantee that your new partner will have equal abilities. In those awkward situations where the ‘happy moment’ is not-so-happy, it becomes your sad responsibility to either suck it up or help your helpless partner.
Training a partner is a difficult task that takes a careful melding of tact and manipulation. You don’t want to offend your partner by saying how bad he or she is, but you certainly don’t want them to continue as is. Here are a few tricks to sway your partner closer to your idea of fun.
SET AN EXAMPLE
The easiest and most effective teaching method is to do unto others as you would have done to yourself. If you enjoy a nice nibble on your own ear, nibble on your partner’s ear. If you need a massage to get in the mood, give one to your partner first. The key is to give your partner a little taste of your favorite moves.
While you are setting this example, you can ask your partner if he or she enjoys your moves (why wouldn’t they). At the very least, your partner should feel some obligation to reciprocate your generosity. Plus, if your partner has any future in bed, they will be happy to add pleasing tricks into their own goodie bag. And you’ll be the first to get to grab.
SEDUCTION
Whether used alone or paired with another trick, seduction is another great way to sway your partner. In the middle of your unsatisfying session, use your best seductive, dirty-talk voice to tell your partner exactly what you want. By making your corrections flirtatious, you help to build up your partner’s ego instead of denting it. This will keep them receptive.
This tack can be difficult between balancing sensitivity and forcefulness. For effectiveness, stop your partner and speak directly to him or her. Look right into their eyes. Nod your head down with a half-smile, but keep your eyes locked (evil and seductive looks look very similar). Before you begin speaking, let your hands explore your partner to keep him or her in the mood and anxious to begin again. Then give them your request as if doing what you ask will cause bed shaking, fireworks, sparks, and the like all at once. In truth, this may just get your through the night, but that will be our little secret.
REWARD SYSTEM
When the above doesn’t work and it’s too late to escape home, there is one more game to play. When your partner begins licking your mouth like an ice cream cone (this would be bad), pull away. Take control of the situation. Seductively say what you want to do together. Then resume taking the lead by keeping things slow and hopefully sweet. A common ‘problem among problems’ with a partner is over-eagerness. Try to keep your partner’s kisses soft (tell them to just softly press their tongue against yours). If the problems happen farther along the bases, make sure you’re on top; that gives you more control.
Simply put, if your partner starts acting like an absent-minded horny teenager, give them a time-out. They don’t get any sugar for throwing a temper tantrum. If they don’t follow your lead when you try to fix the situation, then they don’t get any. If you have to resort to these methods, then I’d suggest just being friends.

Of course, the best solution for a failing lover is to have them read more articles by me.